Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
