I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
