turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just found puke in my bra..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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