Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
