we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
