I bet he comes in French.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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