I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I didn't notice because vodka
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
