Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
