oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
