If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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