Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize