hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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