just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
