That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You are the jesus of drinking
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think my moral compass just broke
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
