You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That's intense
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
