Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize