Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
