My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
