ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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