It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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