He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
