I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
