Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's great music for shaving your balls
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
