Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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