Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Plan B is the new Plan A
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
