We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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