he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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