Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize