i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
