that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
