im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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