Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
