her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
