I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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