better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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