The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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