how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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