What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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