i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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