Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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