i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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