oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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