..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
