Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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