somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
