You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
