It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
