dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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