i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
