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worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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