Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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