First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
