Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
