I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
