I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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