Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
