I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
