i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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