Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
