i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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