Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
