im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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