you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
