drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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