Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
