One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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