I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
