i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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