we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Randomize
