That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
