I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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