There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we're making bets on your personal life
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
