I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
