All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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