Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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