She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
