well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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