how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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