I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
